Letting go.

This has been an interesting month/week/series of days. What has unfolded and what is being unveiled is the curious opening in my life to say yes to whatever comes my way. I'm in a position financially to be on the road for two months and I have a number of intentions for this time, this gift of adventure in my life. I want to further develop and commit to a Spiritual practice that involves meditation, study and more cultivation of my understanding and awareness around Pranayama breathwork. I want to continue to work outside of my comfort zone and explore what the Universe wants to share with me. I want to keep shifting and dancing and celebrating the belief that the Universe will always find ways to help me, support me, lift me, and truly allow me to thrive. In all of these ideas and dreams I am left sitting with the deepening realization that so much of what I feel I am on the path to attaining centers around letting go. Truly, deeply letting go.

So what does it take to let go?

I have been waking up in the middle of the night, brow furrowed, hands clenched and arms crossed to my chest as if I was hanging on to something, some THING, some phantom of doubt, fear, insecurity, and pain. I am startled out of my sleep from a troubled dream and I have to talk to my arthritic hands and wrists to let go, to relax, to breathe with me. This hanging on, this intense energetic surge that appears when I am unconscious hangs around long enough for me to take it in, observe it, feel it, see it...in that early AM exchange with the physical echo of something deep within me going unobserved I harvest the pieces of me that are asking for release. And I want to let them go. My physical ailments are no longer seen as a punishment or misfortune happening to me. I see and hear them as a communication and every day I step away from my "old" life is a day spent walking towards new understanding. I know what I need to do to be physically healthy. My body wants me to let go of the anger. My body wants me to let go of the past. My body is patient in letting me know that something deep within me, or my understanding of me, wants to be free.

I continue onward in that quest inward so that I may be more open and more connected outwardly. And I'm doing it with a huge smile on my face.

I. LOVE. THIS. LIFE.

:)

LA for one more day then the 11 hour drive to Albuquerque. Two days in New Mexico then another 11 hour stretch to Texas. So much to take in and celebrate!

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